an informal op-ed nobody asked for

free-form ramblings on the role of Ai image & text generation (among other disruptions) in creative industries + education

(and some other teaching stuff)

Jarred Elrod, DALL•E 2, Writing, Creative Culture

“Tile mosaic of a human heart” one of my early experiments with DALL•E 2. Seems like a fitting image for this post 😂

Like a lot of folks in the creative world, I’ve had thoughts/fears/questions about this this topic floating around in my head for months now. I thought some good old fashioned journaling might free up some space in my mind so I can get on with life. So… Let’s start with a little foundation work. I identify as a creative practitioner here on my website because I’m not a huge fan of discipline labels—especially since most people that work in creative domains jump in and out of a variety of disciplines. That said, I am trained as, and have worked as a graphic designer. I’m also trained to teach graphic design in a traditional sense, like early 2000’s sense 😅. Things have obviously changed and the general discipline has broadened a lot since then. The term graphic designer doesn’t even make much sense anymore—so I landed on creative practitioner. I’ve tried my best to keep up, but my cranky grandpa streak really seems to be coming out quite a lot these days. But at any rate, I’m coming at this topic more or less as a graphic designer that likes to illustrate, print, cut, build, and write. I love using my hands and moving my body as part of my work. I still shoot film for god’s sake.
 
This post isn’t going to be about the different Ai generation platforms out there for image and writing generation—just hop on instagram and look at some hashtags for that. I’m not an Ai expert either. My goal here is to attempt to broadly conceptualize what is happening and provide some insight or questions about where it might lead us culturally. I’d also like to acknowledge that we have, in fact enthusiastically onboarded Ai for a while now and that it is deeply baked into the creative software we use (among many other things that are part of every-day life)—ahhh sweet content aware. I’m talking about the explosion of imagery and the high level public discussion going on about chatGPT we’ve seen circulating on social media, popular podcasts, and mainstream news outlets in the past year.
 
Before any questions or insights though, I want to start with a story. The other day I was scrolling on instagram (as one does). I happened upon an ad. In that ad there was a beanie-clad dude raving about how you can now build an entire ad using Ai platforms to write copy, build the imagery AND size the ad / build the layout. He proceeded to generate a candle using prompts and one of the platforms (maybe DALL•E 2, Open Ai) and then chatGPT to write the copy. Then there was some other browser-based software with a zingy name I can’t remember for generating sized ads for any media platform. Voila—a beautiful ad ready for publication. Obviously, the issue here is that there is no real product to back the ad, which is both sad and stupid (this might be different for students making concept work, but we’ll get into that later). But I felt a pang of real sorrow as someone who enjoys the process of making things. These prompted and automated processes pretty much eliminated the making aspect for every step. There was no candle or packaging prototyping, no product photography, no layout design. No kerning for god’s sake!!  Just beanie guy in his garage writing prompts. The quirky struggles that happen along the way as we make are the things I enjoy most about the creative process—something that can be practiced, but never fully mastered. This was just a click-baity ad that is certainly not 100% indicative of the end of graphic design, but it still illustrates model of alleged “creativity” devoid of actual making I’m not comfortable with.
 
The most common narratives I’ve heard designers use about coming to terms with Ai image and text generation are these: It’s another tool for the tool belt. A good way to rapidly ideate. In the event something is generated that is liked, a professional comes in and rebuilds or essentially post processes or dials in the imagery to a higher level. In the future it will make our work faster as Ai training models improve and move more into motion graphics. I hear this, and it all makes total sense to me. And yet.. I’m a little concerned about the tone of overconfidence in having a handle on how this thing will develop. Some designers—especially illustrators and those who write—are freaked out. And rightly so. Christoph Niemann (among others) recently posted an idea about a kind of Ai free certification for imagery and things got spicy in the comments. I made the mistake of going into those comments, and it seems everybody thinks they know exactly how it works, yet nobody seems to be able to come to a consensus as to whether training models are ripping artists off or creating original work that is built from “influence” or “inspiration” of other works.
 
Getty seems to think they are getting ripped off, as they are suing Stable Diffusion for using a shit load of watermarked images in their training sets. That’s a lot of infringement. Do Ai training sets rip artists off—in many cases using their work without legal permission? Yes. Do Ai training models build images from scratch using images as “inspiration”? Yes. Will lawsuits stop development of platforms like this? No. More than likely litigation will just produce a crappier version of the inevitable—a Windows 8 version, if you will. Truth is, it’s a both-and scenario. The difference is the speed and scale. Artists and designers have been ripping each other off …a-hem… I mean making work “inspired” by previous works forever. Where we had individual people building copycat works before we now have browser and app-based platforms that allow anyone with a pulse access to machines that possess insane amounts of “inspiration” and processing power… just cranking out droves of imagery and text in seconds. Whether you like this shift or not it is happening and the toothpaste ain’t going back in the tube.
 
I think what is happening and the arguments around this whole thing boils down to a “complicated” vs. “complex” issue. I’m reading “Team of Teams” by Gen. Stanley McChrystal right now. Love or hate the guy there are some deep insights about how technology and our interconnectedness have reshaped the global communication landscape (and so much more). I won’t get into any more specifics, but I do want to extract the “complicated vs. complex” concept from the book because I think it really applies here. According to McChrystal, “complicated” is something that has a lot of moving parts, but can ultimately be broken down and rebuilt in a predictive way—in other words, it can be figured out. A complicated machine (like a car engine) is complicated, but behaves in a predictable way and problems can be more or less diagnosed and repaired objectively. “Complex” is by nature organic and unpredictable. Complex problems are non-linear (like weather) and solutions cannot necessarily be planned ahead for strategically using traditional, linear planning methods. I think Christoph’s idea of having non Ai images certified (while well meaning), or even viewing this issue through a traditional copyright lens (which is already pre-internet level woefully outdated) are proposing complicated solutions to a host of very complex problems that we haven’t even begun to understand. But guess what? It’s happening anyway.
 
So, I am weary of this whole “it’s just another tool” justification. Until recently I taught at large universities. Everything within the structure of these universities from the president’s office down to the single classroom level are built around hierarchical, predictable, complicated frameworks. I’ll be honest, I loved the predictability in the structure—being able to plan 5 years out and actually believe we’d have the stability within our department, let alone the world to carry out that plan was super comforting. That’s just not the case anymore. At my last job, I witnessed the (at least in my opinion) the full collapse of the complicated model in academia. When the global Covid Pandemic swung into full force we probably saw most strikingly what it looks like when complicated systems clash with complex problems. We responded by attempting to push on in a fashion that was as “normal” as possible. In many cases, this resulted in wearing students to the nub trying to deliver educational content through traditional teaching methods via zoom or other video conferencing platforms. Or even better, forcing teachers back into the physical classroom super early against a strong consensus of actual expert advice. Of course, we got better at teaching remotely quickly, but it was all definitely still very much a round peg / square hole scenario, as McChrystal puts it in his book. But even aside from Covid, the traditional complicated model in education was breaking down, and had been for several years. In many cases students don’t go to the teacher if they have a problem anymore, they go straight to the dean—or to social media, where some of them have very large followings. Traditional hierarchies are definitely becoming a thing of the past. It’s not right or wrong, it just is. How could we not expect everything to shift given the massive technological changes and cultural upheavals fueled by our new, “complex” interconnectedness? I’m getting away from Ai a bit, but the complexity of Ai and how it fits into traditional education models is a perfect example of disruption that will continue to be the norm in academia and other large corporations. Heck, after working at one university with a massive lazy river and one that paid their football coach a 12-million-dollar buyout, firing him less than one year after giving him a contract extension…public universities are basically corporations.
 
Short of running design programs like independent design studios that don’t have to answer to schools or colleges and abolishing tenure I’m not sure where traditional design programs can go from here. Is there enough need in the market for school-studios and would existing professional studios want that? Probably gonna be a real-hard no. Do I want that? Heck no! I want a safe space for students to learn and experiment. I want to add at least 6-9 credit hours of mental skills training and self-care related curricula to all design programs. I want teachers that are hired and paid well and fully supported to kick ass teaching students at high level universities—the students deserve it for the price. I want students to be required to study abroad in a fully school-funded program for at least one summer. If we have to give up the lazy rivers for that, so be it. I’d definitely like to see some adjustments to the tenure process and some actual checks and balances once tenure is achieved. I would love to see a reasonable—like, 150K/year MAX—salary cap for athletic coaches. I’d like to see presidents of universities that have a recent background in teaching, not politics. All that said, I suppose as long as schools are making enough money from enrollment things will continue on.
 
How do we make and teach successfully in complex environments? I wish I knew for sure. McChrystal’s answer would likely be to increase our resilience to disruption. I’ve been informally asking talented young folks that are just out of school in addition to seasoned teachers and designers about this. How are they thinking about Ai image and text generation within the scope of their own creative practices? Nobody has an appeasing answer. One thing I do find both comforting and disturbing is that humans, too are very “complex”. Even with insanely powerful making tools at their fingertips—so powerful that you can just ask a platform to build something for you on demand in seconds—people still get a high from making things themselves and from collaboration at human to human scale. I see a bit of a creative insurgency on the horizon for those of us who like to get our hands dirty (figuratively or literally). The eff it just delete everything side of me thinks…can we just block this out and pretend it isn’t happening by moving back towards true specialization? BTW..that would be letterpress or film photography for me. If you wanna get real funky with something you’ve gotta get real focused, right? Then again—and this is something else McChrystal mentions in Team of Teams—is that specialization generally leads to less overall resilience. This is because we leave ourselves more vulnerable to external disruption when we are locked into one specialization or way of thinking. This makes a lot of sense to me, especially within the “complexity” context when I think about my last few years of teaching. Our day to day teaching was impacted deeply by political upheaval, a global health pandemic, natural disasters, etc… These outside factors obviously impacted everyone—and we don’t come to school or work in a vacuum. Pain manifests itself regardless of context. My role as someone that was a specialist at teaching graphic design felt like it shifted into something far more nuanced and complex by 2021.

Jarred Elrod, design, all or nothing, tutto o niente

⬆️ I’ve been afflicted with this sort of all or nothing mentality (tutto o niente in Italiano) for a while now. Stay in or come out of the shadow. Hmmm. I’ve made a lot of work about it. My MFA thesis was titled “Everything and Nothing.” Yeah—it’s a thing. This mentality really flares up when it comes to onboarding emerging technology I’m not comfortable with. Example: I can’t just have instagram and not existentially obsess about whether I should have it or not…how I should use it, what social media is doing to us in general, etc… I get sick of hearing myself talk to myself about this, lol. I’d say an all or nothing mentality is definitely not a resilient way to think. My urge to run back towards the safety of specialization / familiarity is just a deep urge to “figure things out.” Figuring something out is most certainly a “complicated” mode of thinking. The immensity and organic nature of—ethics and truth in social media, for example—is an incredibly “complex” problem. These things cannot be figured out, just navigated. I know this, yet I still find myself wasting precious creative fuel trying to “figure out” social media. Ain’t gonna happen! The Buddhists say desire is the root to all suffering…they’re right. So…how do we creative practitioners shift from thinking about complex things in complicated ways? Guess I’m not quite ready to answer that yet, but if I had to now: it’s becoming clear (for me at least) that letting go of the “figure it out”mentality and doing anything that feels like it’s reactive, or an attempt at a “quick fix” to a complex disruption is a good start. Pursuing long terms goals within a domain of genuine interest that requires daily discipline, patience, collaboration, and humility seem to be the best way forward. I’ve written a lot about my ongoing struggle to learn Italian here in the journal. This is a good basic example of this concept. The process of learning the language has taught me so much more than just learning the words.

Students and professionals alike have been using stock photography and found images forever in their work—this is more or less the super slow not efficient version of dialing up something with Ai. It will be interesting to see how Ai imagery and text changes the complexion of student and professional portfolios as we move forward. There’s no sense in trying prohibit it unless it’s for a focused exercise. Will we even notice a difference? And what about when training sets are trained on other Ai generated images? It will be very interesting/scary/exciting to see how this alters our visual and written communication landscapes. Typography is also an exciting frontier. We’ve had variable and parametric fonts for a while. But now people are using Ai to do everything from pairing and kerning type to designing full typefaces that leverage Ai image generation. I suppose the best of the best will rise to the surface in any domain regardless. This will both thin and thicken the herd (creative community) at the same time, but will the new complexion be ethical? Socially just? Not saying it’s those things now—and maybe that will make our existing problems exponentially worse as we ramp up speed and scale with Ai riffing off our existing biases.

Continue the daily creative practice in the face of uncertainty—focus on big projects that demand deep sincerity, time, developing relationships with others, and of course, detail/nuance. Resist the urge to produce outcomes for outcomes sake. That’s the space I try to occupy. As an educator and someone who went to school when building a static website was a big deal (I learned about HTML in undergrad from building myspace profiles 😅 ) this is all super scary and also exciting. It just depends on the day you catch me. One day I want to sample and design it all, the next day I want to move into our van and start chopping firewood for the impending apocalypse. I suppose that’s why I’m writing this—continue the practice. I’ve been experimenting with DALL•E 2 from OpenAi. It’s good at some things and terrible at others. I’m sure this will improve quickly. It’s out there. That’s really all I can say about it at this point. There is something super creepy about how Ai generates faces and snippets of words—they feel like they’re from some other universe or level of consciousness. I can’t say I’m 100% comfortable with it. It’s almost like looking at a dead person or an unfamiliar language from outside this planet.
 
We all know where this is heading…and the train left the station a while ago. My greatest fear within this context is living in a world where we don’t know if any piece of media we consume is real or fake. Younger folks seem to be more comfortable with this notion. I am not. Without sound ethics and sensible policy implementations (with broad public support) that protect citizens / consumers from the highest level of government we’re in trouble. I think we should be spending less time litigating copyright in legacy systems and more time trying to figure out how we are going to come to an ethical consensus on what is Truth, where are the lane bumpers in our world of communication, and how are we going to navigate this thing together. The 45th U.S. President among others, who’s name will not be mentioned here has already shown us there is a community of folks out there who will literally do anything in any domain to gain political / corporate power or leverage. Given the polarized nature of politics right now I’m fearful of potential outcomes. This is a discussion that goes way beyond creativity. And definitely fodder for another post.
 
When I think about this too much I still can’t help but have escapist fantasies of 23 year-old grad school me blissfully printing away on our Vandercook SP-15 at 3 AM. Good times. Ignorant times? And this is where I have to leave it for now—alla prossima.

and for no particular reason a few more selects from the mosaic binge I went on with DALL•E 2

Tempo Di Recupero run time extended to three months

Another quick update post for the day: I’ve been posting lots of photo stuff as of late, but I wanted to take a moment to let the peoples know that my illustration exhibition, Tempo Di Recupero will now be up for three months instead of the scheduled one month at La Taverna Slow Shop and Bar here in beautiful Polcenigo, Italia. In case you missed it, I built a full process page that outlines the building of this show, in addition to my first show in this space. The first show is important, because the pieces in the current exhibition (Tempo) were built from audience feedback pieces I handed out during the first show. Complicated? Maybe a bit. Check it all out here. I’m honored that the owners, Tatiana and Diego like my work enough to keep it in their place of business, which as you can see from the last photo above is pretty much packed when it is open. Amanda, Pinotto and I (frequent clients ourselves) were able to slip in right when they opened a few nights ago so I could at least grab a few shots without alienating the clientele, lol. Case in point, there are three A1 sized posters (roughly 24”X36”) not shown above because people were already starting to come in and occupy the reading nooks where the posters are placed. The grid of six, A1 posters has a pretty commanding presence and can be seen clearly from outside the place, which I think is pretty neato from a designy scaling perspective. The illustrations are so scalable, they even work as 1.5″ buttons, which I made for keepsakes in case people wanted to take a piece of the show with them.

Unlike the first show (which I failed miserably to get good documentation phots of) I have planned to photograph everything before striking while they are closed. That said, there is something really nice about the space being full of people in the evening. As you can see, it’s small and the vibe is super warm. I like that these photos reflect what you might see coming into the shop on any given evening. And when I say evening I mean evening. It gets dark here pretty early in Winter (4:30ish Nov-Jan—eek) ….a-hem…anyways, folks in Italy don’t even come out for aperitivi until around 7:30—and dinner generally doesn’t happen until around 9 PM. This is tough for us—especially during the week. I guess what I’m trying to say here is the art is just a part of the whole social experience, and I like that. I’ve shown in many galleries and have always felt like a poser. I’m proud to have work in a pubic gathering space where people come to have a good time and stay a while. You may have also noticed there is a kid’s drawing taped up next to my work. The place has a whole wall where they hang kids’ drawings. I love that and am more than happy to share wall space. Gotta run for now 🏃‍♂️—alla prossima!

✍️➕📓➕🖼

weekend photo check—Venezia + Giudecca

Quick photo post for today 🏋️‍♀️: Last Sunday Amanda and I decided to take advantage of the sunshine and head over to Venice by train for a day-trip. We walked, ate, and generally enjoyed ourselves. One thing we made a point of doing was spending significant time on Giudecca. It’s easy to access and has a much more chill vibe than the main island (at least when out of season). Speaking of…Venice out of season is the absolute best—it’s such a unique and wonderful place. A person could come 500 times and still have an easy time finding novel curiosities on every trip. Gotta run (literally 🏃‍♂️) —ciao!

📸➕🌞➕🚶‍♂️➕🛶

photo check: Pozza di Fassa by van

Ciao tutti—got a quick photocheck today from a recent van trip we took through the Dolomiti Mountains to Pozza di Fassa. We went primarily to visit QC Terme (which was awesome), but we ended up stopping in several neat spots along the way. I found myself capturing lots of flattened textures with the camera in addition to the obligatory glamour shots of the breathtaking Dolomiti Mountains. This was the first time we’ve camped in sub-freezing temps. It was cold, but the van systems held up great to keep the water (and us) from freezing. Allora, more soon—alla prossima…

Pinotto says ciao.

📸➕🚐➕❄️➕🏔➕🥶

new year photo check: Rome to Ljubljana

Just a short post for today…wanted to share a selection of photos from the LUMIX I captured during the holidays. Amanda and I traveled to Rome, where we picked up a visiting family member and I took the Praxis Core Exam at a testing center (I passed all three tests—even the math, thank god). After our family send-off we took the van to Ljubljana, Slovenia for the new year weekend. We enjoyed ourselves despite a bit of rain—it felt great to just decompress and read books in the van after a hectic holiday season. Ljubljana had great creative energy. I hope we can get back soon to explore more of Slovenia. Time for a bike ride before it gets dark—sending out good vibes to everyone for a 2023 filled with growth and happiness—Ciao.

📸➕🚐➕🌧

Tempo di Recupero is up!


Friends, “Tempo Di Recupero” is currently up for the remainder of Decmber, 2022 at La Taverna Slow Shop & Bar in Polcenigo, Italia. Huge thanks for those of you who came out on opening night with amazing energy and great questions. If you aren’t in Italy, but are still interested in checking things out I built a process page for this work that can be viewed here. Eventually, I will archive both of the shows I had at La Taverna on my exhibitions page. But for now, I must tackle test prep for the dreaded PRAXIS exams I’ll be taking very soon 🙄

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remnants of process

still building…

I was building an illustration this afternoon and stumbled upon this in the file preview. I thought it was worth capturing and preserving here. Something about it…Working up against some early December deadlines on a few projects and an upcoming exhibition—see announcement above 😀 Also allegedly preparing to take the praxis core, although I still need to study more of the math. Guess we’ll see what happens. Enough for now—ciao.

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jet lagged via ferrata 😅

move the body—feel better…

Another quick writing post for today to accompany some photos I took on the heels of my 6 day trip back to Texas (see previous entry). We decided to tackle the “Ferrata la Farina del Diavolo” near Udine, Italy per the recommendation of one of our friends. Out of all the ferratas I’ve done (a-hem…not many) this was probably my favorite in terms of the route. It was super well-maintained and just challenging enough to get the blood flowing, but not scare an amateur like me. If you are in the area and want a lot of vertical climbing, but with plentiful holds (both human-made and natural) I would definitely recommend it. I did this the day after flying back from the CST time zone in the U.S.—I can’t say it helped me sleep better that night, but after a long plane ride it felt great to get out and use my body after 20+ hours of travel the previous day. Speaking of moving the body…time to head out for a mountain bike ride before it gets dark at 16:30. Short days are a bummer—ciao.

🧗‍♂️➕✈️➕😴➕😅

Family, Racecars, Moto, & West Texas

⬆️ On my family’s property riding my uncle’s FC 450 (see info on the number his #550 Bell Magnum below). It always feels good to get back on a motorcycle where I learned to ride in the rocks and dust on a PW50. I’m wearing a Mattia Guadagnini hoodie—”101 Speedy Guada” (also see more info below)—photographed for my friends in @Astroclub.y



A fast, but fun week—and now jet lag 😴

Quick post for today: Last week I had the opportunity to travel from Northern Italy all the way back to Texas for my grandfather’s induction into the Amarillo Area Motorsports Hall of Fame. It was a special event for my family an amazing opportunity to get home to West Texas to connect with my family—and—with the multi-generational legacy of racing in our family. The trip was both fast and amazing, but I’m also always happy to get home. More soon—ciao.

🇺🇸 ➕ 🏁 ➕✈️➕💆‍♂️

fall 2022 status check ✍️

Jarred Elrod, status check, website, writing, Design, Italy, photography, travel, sketchbook

A few selections from recent writing in my sketchbook tells the tale. Planning, prepping, and considering a lot of things right now.


Evolution/Devolution/Development/Destruction:

From 30,000 Feet:
Well, here we are. Amanda and I have been living in Italy for around a year and nine months—it’s insane how fast time has gone by. Our experience has been fulfilling and restorative in so many ways…be it travel, making friends, language learning, professional skill building, new forms of physical activity, etc… As our time progresses, we’ve naturally been presented with many potential scenarios regarding what we’d like to do next once our formal commitment here in Italy is finished. At this point there and many ways things could potentially play out. This, of course sets the stage for some pretty heavy decision making in our near future. Heavy decision making is almost never fun 😬.

I’ve been preparing for another exhibition this December (I’ll talk more about that below). Because of this, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the sketchbook. For me, time in the sketchbook always brings up the classic big questions—regardless of the project I’m working on. I pulled some of those blurbs from the sidebar to build the header for this post because I think they unconsciously attempt to put a finger on some of the existential questions we face moving forward. The best action always seems to happen in the sidebar. Lots of things are still uncertain at this point I can’t exactly talk about in detail here, but I thought as an exercise it would be good for me to lay things out broad-strokes style in hopes of further unpacking some of those ultra-pithy blurbs from the sidebar.

Jarred Elrod, Photography, Sardegna

⬆️ Me enjoying an incredible sunset in Sardegna this September—I’m one lucky dude, indeed ( 📸 by Amanda ).

Personal:
I’ll start with just me. As I mention in the caption above I’m insanely lucky to have this opportunity. Looking beyond the veneer of travel photos, there have been several deep shifts for me personally since we moved. I was at a low point after my mom died in the early Summer of 2020. That loss affected (and still affects) me profoundly—combined with the Covid-19 pandemic, the insanity of the 2020 election, plus managing expectations in a tenure track position at a university exhausted me mentally and physically. The change in my work and in the pace of the culture we live in has been restorative. We live in a rural area near the mountains. This has provided a physical space for reflection that is both tranquil and beautiful. It’s also a space that lends itself to exercise. Having mountain bike and hiking trails in such close proximity to our home has allowed me to reconnect with my love of all all things related to two wheelsand—with really just being outside in general. Of course, the physical activity is great from an exercise/calorie burning perspective, but the mental aspects of deeply engaging in a hobby that is not “work” is where the real restorative benefits seem to be 🤔.

Amanda and I have been able to travel often in our van. This has been great for us in so many ways from our relationship to our language building skills. We’re also super lucky to live and work in proximity to a very active and skilled community of people who also love doing things outdoors. This has led to rock climbing excursions and dare I say it… me actually learning how to do stuff in a gym, lol. Long story short, we’ve both been trying lots of new stuff and pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zones physically and mentally. When I taught graphic design I spoke a lot about “creative fuel” with my students, as I often saw them trying to work through burnout. I was certainly in a deep state of burnout, but I’m feeling like I have some fuel back in the tank now, which is nice. I’m not sure I understood how low I was on fuel until I was blessed with the opportunity to hit the pause button and forced to make some major changes with my daily routine. The first several months here I would take multi-hour walks in the morning through foothill trails and also on gravel orchard roads behind our town. I think it was during those walks I realized how run-down I had actually become. It took the better part of a year for that fog of mental and emotional exhaustion to begin lifting.

Learning to speak Italian has been a brutal, amazing, ass-kicking, humbling, beautiful experience. I was hoping to be further along after almost two years here, but it isn’t stopping me from continuing to try. Much like losing weight or building muscle, the progress is so slow it’s difficult to recognize until one day you say or understand something that gives hope that things are, in fact, getting better. Then there are the days when it feels like everything is backsliding, but I have learned to accept that the deep nuance of this language is something I will never fully get a grip on—and thats ok. I’ve taken up listening to Italian podcasts while I make long climbs on my mountain bike. I’ve been listening to Muschio Selvaggio—it’s a basically a group of young dudes that bring in a guest and ask them questions. It’s mostly Italian pop-culture related stuff—and it’s full speed and funny as hell when I can understand what they are saying. I’m probably only getting 30-40 percent right now, but comprehension at full speed with interference is improving. I’m not sure if doing this while my legs are on fire from climbing is good or not, but I see it as an opportunity to learn and practice focus / patience where I’d otherwise be listening to music or podcasts in English. Perché no??

Jarred Elrod, Via Ferrata, Italy

⬆️ Via Ferrata, consider the comfort zone officially pushed 😬

⬆️ Having fun with building my threadless store and my design process. Getting back into AfterEffects felt solid.

Creative Practice:
My making practice is in a solid space right now, but I could be pushing harder to break into new domains. Problem is I’m having trouble deciding where to focus creative energy. I’m photographing, drawing, writing, and illustrating more than I have in a long time. There’s less pressure attached to what I choose to do now that it isn’t unhealthily tethered to a tenure process I don’t believe in, but less pressure and looser deadlines are a double-edged sword. That said, I believe that steady engagement in the processes that feel right will produce the right outcome(s)—whatever they may be. I have so many interests. —to start—I want to start working in the action sports industry—specifically motocross/enduro and mountain bike domains. Nothing definitive in terms of producing outcomes has materialized yet, but I have built meaningful relationships and am actively monitoring what opportunities are out there—but—I also had an illustration exhibition at local gallery that went so well I was invited back for another—so I’m pumped about that, too! —and—I finally had the time to build an online shop (see video and link above). While again, not really making much money a-hem—yet the process has been exciting and I’ve learned a ton. —on top of that—I’ve had a good time building books pro-bono for a Gainesville non-profit I care about…getting ready to start another project for them as I write.

Jarred Elrod, design, art, exhibition, Italy

⬆️ Documentation from my first show at La Taverna, “Fare o Essere”. I have another show, “Tempo di Recupero” coming up this December I’m currently getting ready for 😀

—and finally on top-top of that—There is an important/valuable project I left behind with my last job in academia I’d like to pick up again—Creative Perfomer. I have a first full draft of a handbook just sitting on my desk next to me as I write this. It’s in dreadful shape from a writing and editing perspective, but the framework is there. I think because this project was so central to my “tenure” package when I decided to formally leave my last job something snapped there and I just didn’t want to look at it again. I had already collaboratively rolled hundreds of hours into this project with Amanda and I just kinda let it die on the vine—sad story. Now that I do have some fuel back in the tank, I’m starting to feel some desire to continue with that project to see where it leads—or maybe it’s just indigestion, who knows.

Without question though, one of the best / most sustained things I’ve done since moving is keeping this journal at least semi-regularly updated. It has provided a home for photos from my cameras as well as my thoughts / ideas on our collective experiences here. Looking back over the posts from the past year and a half it’s easy to see areas of progression and stagnation. Optimistically though, I would say the overall arc is one of progression. It’s nice to have a record of that progression to refer to and a companion to my sketchbooks.

⬆️ An online workshop teaser Amanda and I made for Creative Performer. We ended up creating a catalog of 4, one hour workshops. 4 hours—that’s a lot of material! The way we created the workshops in progression made it easy to build the framework for the handbook. Now to finish…

⬆️ PRAXIS: why must there always be hoops to jump through that cost money?

Professional—the Conundrum:
And now, finally to the professional aspect of things. I’d more or less say my “career,” is the thing that has suffered most since I’ve been here if you’re looking at things from professional title or monetary perspectives. I mentioned leaving my last job was mentally healthy for me. It was a great job that paid well and even though I knew it was good for me to step away it was still really hard to walk away from. Amanda and I could have maintained a distance relationship so I could keep my job, but our relationship was / is without question the more important priority.

Amanda is carrying the earning weight here while I am working part time and managing things at our house. She does an excellent job at something very few people are qualified to do—and her job is the primary reason we are here. Her job is also very demanding and stressful at times—facts. I’ll be honest though, not feeling like I’m contributing enough monetarily bothers me even though what we are doing now is working well. Unfortunately, my steady creative activity here (while fulfilling) is not making up for the income I lost when I left my last job. Maybe it’s toxic aspects of masculinity causing these feelings? Both of my parents worked growing up and it has been a long time since I haven’t had a “formal” full time job. I feel like I’m doing something wrong here. I want to take more burden off Amanda, but there is nothing I can do that will change the unique demands of her work here—facts. Inversely, me earning more now could set her up for a sabbatical later—also facts. Of course, I work hard to make things low stress at home so when Amanda is off work so we can make the most of our time together instead of worrying about running errands.

The only thing I’ve identified that could pay well and would allow teaching in a creative domain—which I definitely miss—would be teaching art or digital media at the K-12 DoDEA school on base. I started the formal application process to become eligible to apply for DoDEA jobs and unfortunately even though I have an MFA in my field of desired teaching and over 10 years of formal teaching experience I have to take 6 Praxis exams to even be eligible to apply. Of course, each exam costs money 👹. On top of this, I don’t even know if they will have an opening while I am here. It’s a big if. My first reaction was no. Teaching K-12 has never been something I’ve felt particularly driven to do—I enjoy working with folks over 18. The thought of dealing with parents just doesn’t sound like fun to me.—buuuuut—I do miss teaching and being formally qualified to teach K-12 would round out my existing skillset. It would also give me something to sink my career with a capitol C teeth into and make some actual money should we decide to stay here longer than our original commitment..which is potentially possible. And it’s pretty much impossible to beat the flexibility of an academic schedule.

I’ve started studying for the Praxis core. I’m not worried about the writing and reading sections, but I’m finding it incredibly difficult to even open the math study materials. I made an intentional move away from ever having to take another math class again a looooong time ago, yet here we are, lol. I guess feeling prepared for 2/3 ain’t bad. I’m still not sure what I’m going to do yet. On paper ponying up the money and taking these tests makes the most sense. Intuitively though I have pretty serious doubts. If K-12 is something I know I don’t want to do long term is it worth the time/$ and potentially setting sail down this dubious path if something does happen? I suppose one can always change course. We’ve done it before and I’m sure we could do it again. Enough privilege-laced rambling for now—going to keep working on this and feeling thankful for this experience—ciao.

✏️➕🚶‍♂️➕📓➕🤔